Hey Readers!
This may not be long I just wanted to say only 26 more days till the wedding yay. Everything is all ready for the big day. I'm very appreciative of everyone who is helping us :) I know everyone has their own opinion with that being said Bryan and I are still researching and doing a ton of praying about the adoption process. We know God will lead us to the right child made just for us. We don't really know when this special thing will happen were just hoping and praying for one day.
The reason I'm really posting is because Sunday in church Pastor Luke read a verse from James, I have read this book before but I thought I would read it again. Its been a few years and I thought maybe God would show me a little something new and hey what do ya know??? I read the first 2 chapters tonight and it kinda dealt with me.
Profiting from Trials. This is what I read first as I started into James 1. Sometimes I think life is just too hard especially the past 2 months! I had to have surgery and couldn't work for almost a month and its made money really tight. I consider this a trial the first couple verses says James 1:2-3 "My brethren count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience." Wow. Need I say more on this topic. ha ha. Lord knows that I need patience, patience to trust in him to take care of us when we really need it.
James also talks about temptation. Can we go a day without being tempted by anything, girls, guys, Internet, TV, money, drugs, drinking, our words we say and our thoughts. We are tempted everyday weather we like it or not. I'm going to quote this next part out of my bible because its way awesome and interesting. "James tells us some very important facts about temptation. He tells us that God will never tempt us with evil. (which this spoke to me because back when I was having a hard time trying to decide what God wanted me to do about my relationship, I was tempted with party's and guys and what I could do "if" i was single and none of which would be of God.) That means when you are wanting to do something you know you shouldn't, God is not testing you will. According to James, more likely that temptation comes from the fact that we humans are evil at best, and we want to do what is wrong. So when we are tempted, it is not that some force outside of ourselves is trying to get us to sin. We are just getting a snapshot of what is inside of us. That snapshot should send us running to God the only One who can make us better than we naturally are.(this also spoke to me because yes I'm a christian and yes I am saved only by mercy and grace, I am human and everyone falls but praise the Lord he makes us better than what we naturally are) James 1:21 "Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word which is able to save your souls"
James 2 God promises us that we will inherit his kingdom. I really loved this and I really want to share this should make everyone that reads this happy and thoughtful ill end my blog tonight with this.....
"Listen, my beloved brethren: Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?"-James 2:5
Maybe you'll find a lot of money, or stumble onto a fortune, or marry into royalty. Most people spend all of their lives trying to build a kingdom or to win one. They haven't heard the news that were already heirs to a kingdom-the eternal kingdom of God-the one that doesn't rot, or fade away, or go broke. Where are you spending your time? Building a kingdom on earth, or building the kingdom in heaven. Think for a moment. Do you know your grandmothers name? Easy? How about your great grandmothers name? Harder, but ok, Now, whats your great-great-grandmothers name? Stumped? Its the sad truth. In about three or four generations no one will remember your name either. Oh, it'll be written down somewhere but you'll be long gone. Your earthly kingdom wont matter anymore. If your a Christian you'll be with Jesus sharking in the kingdom he has for you. There, you'll matter forever.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Your Precious In His Sight.
Hey Readers!
For the past couple days I've been thinking to myself...what the heck are you going to blog about next?! I feel lead to speak to younger girls. School is getting ready to start back up and some young girls are about to make the huge step from Jr High or as they say now "middle school" to the High School...Its a big deal! I remember when I was going to high school and I remember how absolutely terrified I was, new people, new teachers, new school, new girls, new and cuter boys...wow right? theres a ton of new emotions entering high school. In my blog the other day I blogged about making a difference and I hope every young person read that because now that you are going to a new school(or even your old one) you have a chance to make a difference in someones life, like the girl that doesn't feel like she fits in anywhere or the lonely boy who is a little different than you who sits alone at lunch. I'm sure there was a day when you felt the same way make a difference say Hi sometimes that's all it takes not only to brighten someones day but to make a new friend! (this goes for older folks too theres new people that start work with you all the time sometimes a simple hello works wonders! trust me I'm taking my own advice because I'm shy but I'm trying!)
Now Girls....some of you may feel like you aren't good enough your not pretty enough. Pretty isn't about whats on the outside. In the eyes of God you are his creation and you are made to be wonderful and he thinks your beautiful. Some of you may feel the need to be like other girls. DON'T, go your own way.. God made you to be one of kind. Some of you may feel like the only way you will ever feel pretty enough is if you have a boyfriend I can hear your thoughts now "but Miranda a boyfriend would make everything perfect duh." I know right I was there once but let me tell you a boyfriend doesn't make everything perfect and a boyfriend doesn't always make you feel as pretty as you already are. You need to know that you need to fall in love with yourself because if your not happy with the person you see in the mirror you'll never be happy with anyone else. When you look in the mirror you should see one of Gods masterpieces he created you for a purpose and when he sees you he thinks your beautiful. If you never feel special remember your special to him. The whole boy thing isn't everything that everyone makes it out to be, attention is addictive and deadly (ha ha) When a boy gives you compliments it becomes addictive because it makes you feel wonderful on top of the world and then its only goes farther and farther and farther till your too far gone and then you feel awful and all those compliments and the way hes broke your heart doesn't add up to the pain you feel now trust me I speak from experience. So remember if he really loves you and really cares and really likes you for you and loves you for you HE WILL WAIT FOR YOU!
Now I wanna share a devotion I read quite a while back......"Peter says that beauty has more to do with your inside than your outside. God cares about your heart and your attitude more than the shape of your face or the color of your eyes. If you ask Him, God will reveal to you the beauty He created in you. He created you for a purpose.Your life gives Him much pleasure. He thinks you're beautiful. You are precious to Him. Can you see what He sees? If you feel like God created you for something more than beauty contest, then begin to search and pray for his purpose. Ask Him to show you your strengths and help you use them. The most attractive people in the world are the ones who are confident about their purpose. They know what their life is supposed to be about,and they are hard at work to fulfill Gods plan for them. If you cant stand the way you look, then ask God to show you what he has in mind for you. Ask Him to make you into a person who looks into the mirror and likes the reflection. Focus on the awesome things He has built into you. Ask him to replace your insecurity with His purpose."
SEE FOR YOURSELF
Is.43:4 Zeph. 3:17 1Tim.2:8-9
A song that fits: Plain by ZoeGirl
He made you feel plain
When he forgot your name
Well let me tell you something,
I have felt the same.
I know you're in pain
But there'll be another Boy along the way and
God he made you beautiful and
There's nothing about you thats plain.
You are jewel you're a treasure
You are one of a kind
And you shine just as bright
As the stars in the sky
You're a rare kind of wonder
Created just right
So keep your head up no matter the pain
Theres nothing about you thats plainYou tell me you're not the type
The kind of girl that they like
And your a little insecure about
How you look in their eyes.
Well fashion will change,
Trends come and go everyday,
But God only made one of you and
There's nothing about you thats plain
See your mind, it is precious
Though your heart may be restless
And your eyes they will see
All that you're meant to be
'Cause your spirit is strong
And your soul carries on
You'll keep your head up no matter the pain
There's nothing about you that's plain
You know I've had my days,
When I feel out of place....yea
I look at who I am,
Cover what I can ,
I wish it all would change. But...
Take the makeup away
You see the same girl still remains..
She may not feel that beautiful
But theres nothing about her thats plain.
You may have felt plain,
But...God, He knows your name
Let me tell you something, yeah...
There's nothing about you that's plain
For the past couple days I've been thinking to myself...what the heck are you going to blog about next?! I feel lead to speak to younger girls. School is getting ready to start back up and some young girls are about to make the huge step from Jr High or as they say now "middle school" to the High School...Its a big deal! I remember when I was going to high school and I remember how absolutely terrified I was, new people, new teachers, new school, new girls, new and cuter boys...wow right? theres a ton of new emotions entering high school. In my blog the other day I blogged about making a difference and I hope every young person read that because now that you are going to a new school(or even your old one) you have a chance to make a difference in someones life, like the girl that doesn't feel like she fits in anywhere or the lonely boy who is a little different than you who sits alone at lunch. I'm sure there was a day when you felt the same way make a difference say Hi sometimes that's all it takes not only to brighten someones day but to make a new friend! (this goes for older folks too theres new people that start work with you all the time sometimes a simple hello works wonders! trust me I'm taking my own advice because I'm shy but I'm trying!)
Now Girls....some of you may feel like you aren't good enough your not pretty enough. Pretty isn't about whats on the outside. In the eyes of God you are his creation and you are made to be wonderful and he thinks your beautiful. Some of you may feel the need to be like other girls. DON'T, go your own way.. God made you to be one of kind. Some of you may feel like the only way you will ever feel pretty enough is if you have a boyfriend I can hear your thoughts now "but Miranda a boyfriend would make everything perfect duh." I know right I was there once but let me tell you a boyfriend doesn't make everything perfect and a boyfriend doesn't always make you feel as pretty as you already are. You need to know that you need to fall in love with yourself because if your not happy with the person you see in the mirror you'll never be happy with anyone else. When you look in the mirror you should see one of Gods masterpieces he created you for a purpose and when he sees you he thinks your beautiful. If you never feel special remember your special to him. The whole boy thing isn't everything that everyone makes it out to be, attention is addictive and deadly (ha ha) When a boy gives you compliments it becomes addictive because it makes you feel wonderful on top of the world and then its only goes farther and farther and farther till your too far gone and then you feel awful and all those compliments and the way hes broke your heart doesn't add up to the pain you feel now trust me I speak from experience. So remember if he really loves you and really cares and really likes you for you and loves you for you HE WILL WAIT FOR YOU!
Now I wanna share a devotion I read quite a while back......"Peter says that beauty has more to do with your inside than your outside. God cares about your heart and your attitude more than the shape of your face or the color of your eyes. If you ask Him, God will reveal to you the beauty He created in you. He created you for a purpose.Your life gives Him much pleasure. He thinks you're beautiful. You are precious to Him. Can you see what He sees? If you feel like God created you for something more than beauty contest, then begin to search and pray for his purpose. Ask Him to show you your strengths and help you use them. The most attractive people in the world are the ones who are confident about their purpose. They know what their life is supposed to be about,and they are hard at work to fulfill Gods plan for them. If you cant stand the way you look, then ask God to show you what he has in mind for you. Ask Him to make you into a person who looks into the mirror and likes the reflection. Focus on the awesome things He has built into you. Ask him to replace your insecurity with His purpose."
SEE FOR YOURSELF
Is.43:4 Zeph. 3:17 1Tim.2:8-9
A song that fits: Plain by ZoeGirl
He made you feel plain
When he forgot your name
Well let me tell you something,
I have felt the same.
I know you're in pain
But there'll be another Boy along the way and
God he made you beautiful and
There's nothing about you thats plain.
You are jewel you're a treasure
You are one of a kind
And you shine just as bright
As the stars in the sky
You're a rare kind of wonder
Created just right
So keep your head up no matter the pain
Theres nothing about you thats plainYou tell me you're not the type
The kind of girl that they like
And your a little insecure about
How you look in their eyes.
Well fashion will change,
Trends come and go everyday,
But God only made one of you and
There's nothing about you thats plain
See your mind, it is precious
Though your heart may be restless
And your eyes they will see
All that you're meant to be
'Cause your spirit is strong
And your soul carries on
You'll keep your head up no matter the pain
There's nothing about you that's plain
You know I've had my days,
When I feel out of place....yea
I look at who I am,
Cover what I can ,
I wish it all would change. But...
Take the makeup away
You see the same girl still remains..
She may not feel that beautiful
But theres nothing about her thats plain.
You may have felt plain,
But...God, He knows your name
Let me tell you something, yeah...
There's nothing about you that's plain
Monday, August 15, 2011
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest...
Hey Readers!
Praise the Lord for always being only one step away and his everlasting mercy and grace! The past week he has shown me so much, even if I did feel so far away he reached down and said "let me help you back up....look......."
Early last week I got with a friend of mine had a great day doing what we love to do and really got into some deep conversations and confessing things to each other that really let me see how much God uses others to show me I'm not alone in my walk and no matter what he still loves me and he never stopped he never moved away...I did. The other day something so small like I went into the hair shop to make an appointment for my hair for the wedding and the lady says shes in the back..... I look over the little wall and shes sitting on her break or lunch reading her bible! What a witness and that really touched me and made me ask myself "wow Miranda you used to love to study and learn and you've gotten so far back that you haven't even picked up your bible except for Sundays and you close it and don't even bother to open it again until the following or even the Sunday after that" What an inspiration! God used her in such a little way that she may not even know God used both of these girls this week to really show me how many steps I really am away from him and how much we really need other christians in our life to help us in our everyday walk.
Bryan and I have started attending a new church (City Soul Ministries) and we both really enjoy it. I love getting up on Sunday mornings now going to be fed Gods word and realizing how much I miss being on fire and how many people I could touch with my stories if I were as excited about God as much as I was the day he came into my heart and made me new. Well I guess I'm hoping that's what this blog will do. I may be able to touch more people through this blog than I ever could in real life. I'm hoping not only for this blog to be my vent of things I go through but I'm hoping I use it for myself as an accountability that it will get me back into the word of God. So I can share what God does in my life and because when I was so deep in study so long ago he really did bring verses to mind as a way to talk to me and I could use them in the situtaion I was in, also because they say sometimes WE are the only bibles people will ever read.
I went to borders yesterday and picked up a new book by Max Lucado and his daughter its called You Were Made To Make A Difference. I'm only on chapter 2 but wow! Some of you may know and some of you may not know that Ive always felt a tug toward missions and I've always of course felt a tug to adopt. I want God to use me to make a difference and like the book says look at the most important men and women of the bible the ones that made such a difference like the disciples they were just ordinary men and women, they weren't rich, they weren't nessecarily the most handsome or beautiful, they weren't even the smartest they were people like me and you. All though I don't feel called to sell everything and go to the misson field, I do feel called to make a difference. Ive realized God can use me to make a difference in the smallest ways like being the girl on my break to read my bible (incredible witness) or even the shoulder to cry on, God can use me as a smile that brightens someones day, and God can even use my confessions to help a friend. I want to make a difference in a child's life through adoption it may not happen today or even tomorrow but I'm praying he will show my what his will is for me and if this is where he really wants to take me and this is really what he wants me to do he will show me, and I pray that I can say that its his will and not mine and (like in church Sunday) when you ask for something ask in complete and total FAITH that he will answer your prayers. "If you want to know what God really wants you to do, ask him , and he will gladly tell you, for he is always ready to give a bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask him; be sure that you really expect him to tell you...If you don't ask in faith, don't expect the Lord to give you any solid answer." James 1:5-6 Sometimes I'm so guilty of going to him and praying and not really expecting an answer. So today I pray that I will ask him to show me his will for me in faith and he will really show me.
Well today is my last day off work (Ive been off work for 3 weeks because my appendix decided to not like me) so i'm gonna be done blogging for the evening and get ready to go to bed, so until next time.....
"Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge HIM, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
Praise the Lord for always being only one step away and his everlasting mercy and grace! The past week he has shown me so much, even if I did feel so far away he reached down and said "let me help you back up....look......."
Early last week I got with a friend of mine had a great day doing what we love to do and really got into some deep conversations and confessing things to each other that really let me see how much God uses others to show me I'm not alone in my walk and no matter what he still loves me and he never stopped he never moved away...I did. The other day something so small like I went into the hair shop to make an appointment for my hair for the wedding and the lady says shes in the back..... I look over the little wall and shes sitting on her break or lunch reading her bible! What a witness and that really touched me and made me ask myself "wow Miranda you used to love to study and learn and you've gotten so far back that you haven't even picked up your bible except for Sundays and you close it and don't even bother to open it again until the following or even the Sunday after that" What an inspiration! God used her in such a little way that she may not even know God used both of these girls this week to really show me how many steps I really am away from him and how much we really need other christians in our life to help us in our everyday walk.
Bryan and I have started attending a new church (City Soul Ministries) and we both really enjoy it. I love getting up on Sunday mornings now going to be fed Gods word and realizing how much I miss being on fire and how many people I could touch with my stories if I were as excited about God as much as I was the day he came into my heart and made me new. Well I guess I'm hoping that's what this blog will do. I may be able to touch more people through this blog than I ever could in real life. I'm hoping not only for this blog to be my vent of things I go through but I'm hoping I use it for myself as an accountability that it will get me back into the word of God. So I can share what God does in my life and because when I was so deep in study so long ago he really did bring verses to mind as a way to talk to me and I could use them in the situtaion I was in, also because they say sometimes WE are the only bibles people will ever read.
I went to borders yesterday and picked up a new book by Max Lucado and his daughter its called You Were Made To Make A Difference. I'm only on chapter 2 but wow! Some of you may know and some of you may not know that Ive always felt a tug toward missions and I've always of course felt a tug to adopt. I want God to use me to make a difference and like the book says look at the most important men and women of the bible the ones that made such a difference like the disciples they were just ordinary men and women, they weren't rich, they weren't nessecarily the most handsome or beautiful, they weren't even the smartest they were people like me and you. All though I don't feel called to sell everything and go to the misson field, I do feel called to make a difference. Ive realized God can use me to make a difference in the smallest ways like being the girl on my break to read my bible (incredible witness) or even the shoulder to cry on, God can use me as a smile that brightens someones day, and God can even use my confessions to help a friend. I want to make a difference in a child's life through adoption it may not happen today or even tomorrow but I'm praying he will show my what his will is for me and if this is where he really wants to take me and this is really what he wants me to do he will show me, and I pray that I can say that its his will and not mine and (like in church Sunday) when you ask for something ask in complete and total FAITH that he will answer your prayers. "If you want to know what God really wants you to do, ask him , and he will gladly tell you, for he is always ready to give a bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask him; be sure that you really expect him to tell you...If you don't ask in faith, don't expect the Lord to give you any solid answer." James 1:5-6 Sometimes I'm so guilty of going to him and praying and not really expecting an answer. So today I pray that I will ask him to show me his will for me in faith and he will really show me.
Well today is my last day off work (Ive been off work for 3 weeks because my appendix decided to not like me) so i'm gonna be done blogging for the evening and get ready to go to bed, so until next time.....
"Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge HIM, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Its about to get real serious....
Hey Readers!
This is my first ever blog. <insert hand clap now> haha. I used to have a xanga (yes I said a xanga) and Ive recently realized how much I miss blogging about the randomness of where my life is going and where its gone. Ive decided to share my life and some of my "seriousness" of things that have happened and that are going to happen not only for me...but also possibly for someone else who's going through or has gone through the difficulties I have and probably will go through. You may learn more than you've ever really wanted to know but if you don't like it don't read it.....you may enter in to my thoughts....now.....
The Beginning:
When I look back over the last I dunno 6-7 years...I shake my head and think WOW, I sure am glad God knew what decisions I would make and where I would be now. Sometimes I have to ask myself how in the world did I ever get here. I am 24 years old and Ive been engaged three times now...even married and divorced (some of you may not know and some of you do know.) I am about to get married again. Being married and having kids is all Ive ever thought about (as some of my oldest friends know) it was a must happen for me and instead of trusting and walking with the Lord and trusting in him to lead me to the person he had prepared for me I had to go through a couple different tests and even learn from my mistakes and my heartache. I believe looking back he allowed me to make the bad decisions so I would appreciate what he had in store for me so much more than as if he just handed it to me. Through my first marriage I don't consider it an epic fail as most people do, I don't even consider it a mistake, I consider it a blessing really because through everything I went through I learned so much like what love really was.
Skip forward to Summer 2010 ah the single life. I was doing great I had recently made a trip to Texas to see if I really wanted to move there and get away from the "horrible" small town I call home. When I came home from my trip I had a pretty BIG girl decision to make. Do I move away from everything and everyone that I love and start a life all my own all alone...or stay for everyone that I love. As you can see Texas didn't happen to me because to me family is my everything and I don't know what I would do without them. Little did I know God had a bigger plan than anything I could ever plan for myself. After I made the decision to stay home I went out on my own (which I had never done before and it was super scary) I found a little studio apartment which I grew to really love. It was all mine, I was happy, excited I could do it all on my own...but a couple things were missing. 1. I wasn't close to God and 2. I was alone. I had convinced myself I needed to be alone and I was OK alone. And I was.
I decided to read a book that so many years ago I read and "Redeeming Love" If any of you ever wanna read the greatest love story ever (besides of course Jesus' love story for us) that is the book. I spent 2 days on my couch really reading and understanding what it was to be loved, it wasn't a compliment every now and then from some guy who says your pretty, It wasn't going out to the bar to see which drunk guy you could get, I'm talking everlasting no matter what love, that really I didn't think existed after everything I had been through. I swore no one would ever love me enough to marry me again. Why would God bless me with such a wonderful man after everything I had done, I mean I had already been married once what guy would want a girl who's already been through all that??? So I prayed "Lord you know my heart when will you send me my Michael (the man character in the book)? When will I have that real love and when will you bless me with someone who loves you and puts you first and puts me second. Lord you have him and when you send him to me it will be on your time and not my own I'm done looking Lord You can send him my way and will you let me know when I've met him?"
2 weeks later I get a friend request on facebook from a young man named Bryan Stull. oh you already know you try to get all the info you can before you even talk to them like "what mutual friends do we have" " is he cute?" hahaha you know you all do it. A couple days went by when I was hanging with the best friend and I said really?? whats the point in asking someone to be your friend if you aren't going to talk to them I have no idea who this guy is....a week went by and all the sudden I have one new message it was that Bryan kid....great I thought what the heck is he going to say. As I read through the message and he said he remembered me from school we began to talk back and forth and as I walked out of the break room at work something just told me "Miranda this is your Michael. This is the man I have made for you." I smiled to myself. I knew God had finally sent me the man I was meant to be with. A week or 2 longer and we were dating. 4 months later he popped the question and I wear a ring.
Satan doesn't like when you do what God wants, He began to make me think what about your single life? What about all the GUYS you haven't met? Haven't you already did this and failed once? What will everyone think of you? I had a really hard time and I got so confused and completely off track and I was so unsure of everything until I had a friend who was going through things that i had once gone through and be treated the way i was once treated and BAM just like that God said "uh Miranda remember what I told you? I have blessed you with the man I've made for you and a man who loves you unconditionally" If you are doing what God wants and you get confused just remember God isnt a God of confusion, and all your questions of something you were so sure of probably isnt God at all.
So now that you have the low down on where I am now in my life....I'm getting married September 24th and so my new life begins......
This is my first ever blog. <insert hand clap now> haha. I used to have a xanga (yes I said a xanga) and Ive recently realized how much I miss blogging about the randomness of where my life is going and where its gone. Ive decided to share my life and some of my "seriousness" of things that have happened and that are going to happen not only for me...but also possibly for someone else who's going through or has gone through the difficulties I have and probably will go through. You may learn more than you've ever really wanted to know but if you don't like it don't read it.....you may enter in to my thoughts....now.....
The Beginning:
When I look back over the last I dunno 6-7 years...I shake my head and think WOW, I sure am glad God knew what decisions I would make and where I would be now. Sometimes I have to ask myself how in the world did I ever get here. I am 24 years old and Ive been engaged three times now...even married and divorced (some of you may not know and some of you do know.) I am about to get married again. Being married and having kids is all Ive ever thought about (as some of my oldest friends know) it was a must happen for me and instead of trusting and walking with the Lord and trusting in him to lead me to the person he had prepared for me I had to go through a couple different tests and even learn from my mistakes and my heartache. I believe looking back he allowed me to make the bad decisions so I would appreciate what he had in store for me so much more than as if he just handed it to me. Through my first marriage I don't consider it an epic fail as most people do, I don't even consider it a mistake, I consider it a blessing really because through everything I went through I learned so much like what love really was.
Skip forward to Summer 2010 ah the single life. I was doing great I had recently made a trip to Texas to see if I really wanted to move there and get away from the "horrible" small town I call home. When I came home from my trip I had a pretty BIG girl decision to make. Do I move away from everything and everyone that I love and start a life all my own all alone...or stay for everyone that I love. As you can see Texas didn't happen to me because to me family is my everything and I don't know what I would do without them. Little did I know God had a bigger plan than anything I could ever plan for myself. After I made the decision to stay home I went out on my own (which I had never done before and it was super scary) I found a little studio apartment which I grew to really love. It was all mine, I was happy, excited I could do it all on my own...but a couple things were missing. 1. I wasn't close to God and 2. I was alone. I had convinced myself I needed to be alone and I was OK alone. And I was.
I decided to read a book that so many years ago I read and "Redeeming Love" If any of you ever wanna read the greatest love story ever (besides of course Jesus' love story for us) that is the book. I spent 2 days on my couch really reading and understanding what it was to be loved, it wasn't a compliment every now and then from some guy who says your pretty, It wasn't going out to the bar to see which drunk guy you could get, I'm talking everlasting no matter what love, that really I didn't think existed after everything I had been through. I swore no one would ever love me enough to marry me again. Why would God bless me with such a wonderful man after everything I had done, I mean I had already been married once what guy would want a girl who's already been through all that??? So I prayed "Lord you know my heart when will you send me my Michael (the man character in the book)? When will I have that real love and when will you bless me with someone who loves you and puts you first and puts me second. Lord you have him and when you send him to me it will be on your time and not my own I'm done looking Lord You can send him my way and will you let me know when I've met him?"
2 weeks later I get a friend request on facebook from a young man named Bryan Stull. oh you already know you try to get all the info you can before you even talk to them like "what mutual friends do we have" " is he cute?" hahaha you know you all do it. A couple days went by when I was hanging with the best friend and I said really?? whats the point in asking someone to be your friend if you aren't going to talk to them I have no idea who this guy is....a week went by and all the sudden I have one new message it was that Bryan kid....great I thought what the heck is he going to say. As I read through the message and he said he remembered me from school we began to talk back and forth and as I walked out of the break room at work something just told me "Miranda this is your Michael. This is the man I have made for you." I smiled to myself. I knew God had finally sent me the man I was meant to be with. A week or 2 longer and we were dating. 4 months later he popped the question and I wear a ring.
Satan doesn't like when you do what God wants, He began to make me think what about your single life? What about all the GUYS you haven't met? Haven't you already did this and failed once? What will everyone think of you? I had a really hard time and I got so confused and completely off track and I was so unsure of everything until I had a friend who was going through things that i had once gone through and be treated the way i was once treated and BAM just like that God said "uh Miranda remember what I told you? I have blessed you with the man I've made for you and a man who loves you unconditionally" If you are doing what God wants and you get confused just remember God isnt a God of confusion, and all your questions of something you were so sure of probably isnt God at all.
So now that you have the low down on where I am now in my life....I'm getting married September 24th and so my new life begins......
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